02
Jun
09

The shallow end

“Hispanic, US national, enjoys being center of attention in real world and chatrooms. Opinionated and egotistical. Led by emotions. Talks of ideals but does not act on them. Shallow.”

So reads the report in my ‘dossier’.

Wow. Free from politeness, free from any tempering to spare anyone’s feelings – that’s my whole identity flattened in a couple of dozen words. The others say they feel violated but for me – maybe because my character has been so totally trashed (even Ignatius comes off better) – this is worse.

How dare they presume to know me? They don’t know me. Where were my surveillance videos, where were my photos? At least these would have shown the world something of me.

And ‘low threat’ hurts even more. Low threat. Irrelevant. Powerless.

The thing that hurts most though is *you* saying nothing, casually observing as we were turned inside out. I thought Café con Miguel was a space of trust between us, a small connection in the chaos of the universe. Obviously I misjudged you. So that’s it, it’s over. Café con Miguel is closed for business.

14
May
09

A matter of taste

I hope everyone is taking the time to enjoy the party. I’ve met some really interesting people so far and I hope you have too. I did have some butterflies though – not just the ‘is anybody going to turn up?’ butterflies, but because I knew the enemy were going to be there.

The best parties always have that frisson of danger because you can’t control who’s going to appear out of the blue. ‘OMG, it’s that guy whose fender I wrecked yesterday,’ or, ‘OMG, it’s my ex and their new significant other!’ Random people are being invited into a single room and a punch in the face lurks in every wrong look.

So did anyone have a run in with Veilcorp or their ‘affiliates’ at the party? Because they were there – still are, I guess. Now I’m not saying Veilcorp are trouble; as party host it would be wrong of me to judge, but as Guardian Angel of ‘what is’ and ‘what isn’t’ I must speak out. They are wrong in so many ways – even taste (‘Veilcorp’ anyone? A tiger start-up trying too hard to impress the big boys). Just what sort of person signs up with guys like that? ‘Affiliates’ Veilcorp call them; ‘Collaborators’ Ignatius would say, and for once I’m inclined to agree with him.

So to these collaborators I say: ‘Do you know what you are doing? Are you collaborating because you were bullied by Veilcorp? Are you looking for advancement, or are you in it for the sheer joy?’ Because I don’t know which of you I fear the most – the bullied, the climbers or the jokers.

11
May
09

Top secret

Something very special has happened over the weekend. I can’t tell you everything – in fact I can’t tell you anything and it is soooo not fair! But just to pre-empt your congratulations, I’m not about to become a father (brother that would be a shock!) and Perez Hilton has yet to ask me to guest edit his site (only a matter of time, I’m sure).

So what, I hear you say, can be so exciting? Britney and Justin doing a duet in my bathroom? Not even close!

I will reveal all, so to speak, when the time comes, but for now I can reveal only one thing: the alphaAFK is finally getting its priorities right, stopping all the griefing and throwing a party. That’s right. But keep it quiet, this is hot off the press, hush hush and on the QT. I’ll let you know where and when soon.

27
Apr
09

The country mouse

I hate liars but the world is so full of them we can’t get away – or maybe I’m a liar magnet, I don’t know.

My grandmother used to say, ‘Donde hay calor har serpientes,’ ‘Where there is heat, there are snakes.’ This terrified me as a boy growing up in San Diego – when wasn’t it hot?! But now I’ve come to the City of Angels, I understand what she really meant. Where there is more to win there will always be more snakes.

I, like many others, Greyhounded here, a dungareed hick with straw in my gapped teeth, looking politely for my shot at immortality. My personal dream? To unite the world with my Oscar™ winning speech after directing The Versace Story. Now I go to class, I wait tables, I test – so it goes. One of 10 million dreamers. So will I succeed? I’m hot, I’m loud but… here be snakes.

And here in the virtual world, the competition is just as fearsome. Will it be little me, with my out-of-town morality, or will one of 10 million others be prepared to lie and cheat their way into hearts and minds and through closed doors, thinking nothing of pushing friends and morals aside to achieve glory?

Maybe I’m trying to deny the truth – but the world deserves to hear my acceptance speech.

So, good people, a word of warning to you. Many are now looking for Xi and the stakes are getting higher. I can feel the heat. So check your shoes, because I think the snakes are already among us.

20
Apr
09

The inner-beautiful people

What wonderful people every last primped and preened one of you are. The Hub has never seen anything quite like it - Friday in particular was utter mayhem with impromptu parties galore as thousands of you cast off your shackles to reveal your inner loveliness.

I can’t pick out any favourites since there were so many totally awesome make overs – but you know what, I’m going to anyway:

‘|Achilleas|’ – scary

‘Ognamus’ - reclaiming Texas for real men

‘jawa_juice’ - a real exhibitionist

Godsgift1888′ – how brave you were to show us your nurse’s outfit

You were all so brave and deserve a big hug from Miguel! If only the big wide world could be so honest. More than anything, you’ve all shown me and the whole of Home what fun can be had with a few party tricks.

Thank you everyone

Miguel xxx

17
Apr
09

Strip yourself bare!

Inspired by recent developments, it is my pleasure to announce:

THE FIRST EVER AVATAR INNER BEAUTY CONTEST

A distractivity

presented by

CAFÉ CON MIGUEL

Yes people, that’s right. Everyone is talking about avatar enhancement and the time could not be better for the first ever avatar inner beauty contest.

To take part, all you have to do is throw off your shackles and explore your inner self.

HOW TO UNLEASH THE TRUE YOU:
o Change the look of your avatar
o Go to the Hub.
o Rate other contestants’ inner beauty using the new function on your HoloPAD (thanks Thom).
o Be rated yourself.

That’s right! Cast off your armor and show your real self to the world!

A function on the HoloPAD will allow others to rate the new you as you can rate the new them.

Remember, I’m not looking for the clichéd buxom blue-eyed blonde or the square-jawed hunk. I might as well watch a re-run of Baywatch.

Look deep inside yourself and see how you would really like to be. Are you a mild mannered bank manager with a leather fixation? Or is the gingham look more your thing? Would you like to explore, dare I say it, another gender?

Be your inner self! Because in the end *that is your true self*.

16
Apr
09

Six degrees

Could Xi give you the ability to become a ‘super-being’ inside Home? You heard it here first! Everyone is talking about ‘avatar enhancement’ and it certainly fits in with the whole butterfly metaphor.

All avatars are enhancements in a way. Here are the six types yours truly has identified:

1 – Straight Avatar
2 – Augmented Avatar
3 – Depraved Avatar
4 – Experimental Avatar
5 – Androgenous Avatar
6 – Uber Avatar

1
Straight Avatar speaks for itself, the avatar closely resembles ourselves and this is probably the avatar most of us have.

2
Possibly though many of us have augmented our Avatars, even just a little bit to satisfy our egos – bigger breasts or pecs, you might not even know you’re doing it. There’s no shame!

3
An intriguing one this, some people like to pervert their avatar into something ugly, either a perverted vision of themselves or something completely off the wall. And why not? Expression has many forms and while psychological implications lurk herein, it’s true, where don’t they lurk? Applaud it!

4
Experimenting with your gender is something well documented in the real world already. Not an easy thing to do, though obviously it’s easier in the virtual world; but it still takes cajones to be so truthful.

Hopefully you’ll see each of these requires increasing complexity of thought. It’s easy to want bigger pecs but there is probably far more behind wanting to change gender, be it psychology, philosophy, or history. It’s a much more sophisticated way of thinking, which leads us to…

5
Ah, what if there were no gender? No sk8erbois or gangstas or cheerleaders or teenie wahinis… life would be soooo much easier but far less fun! It’s been a few years since Mr Iron’s biology class, but as I recall we are male and female simply so we can reproduce. But gender isn’t important in a virtual world – it’s a throwback to a previous self, as the coccyx is a memory of where we evolved from. We cling to it people, because it is what we know, it is all we know. In a virtual world though an androgynous avatar would have all the best features of both – a man’s strength, a woman’s compassion, a man’s instinct to protect, a woman’s emotional intelligence. It would be neither, it would be greater. Currently we can’t pick and choose but that would be the final stage of avatar development.

6
Suppose you could find a way of actually circumventing the boundaries that have been created for our avatars, then you could enhance yourself above and beyond all others. You could increase functionality across the board and it is no exaggeration to say you would become a pseudo god. As Tom Waits said, ‘In the world of the blind, the one-eyed man is King.’

So what are you? What would you like to be?

14
Apr
09

transformation

In Mexico, we have the Day of the Dead. My grandmother says on that day – it’s in November – dead ancestors come to visit us, brought on the wings of butterflies. When they leave they take the souls of the newly departed away with them.

Butterflies have been on my mind lately. This is from Wikipedia: “The Taoist philosopher Zhuangzi once had a dream of being a butterfly flying without care about humanity, however when he woke up and realized it was just a dream, he thought to himself, ‘Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?’”

I like that. Butterflies seem to be symbolic of many things, depending on where and when you’re from – a person’s soul, a portent of evil or conversely good luck, a symbol of love or loved ones coming to visit. Like anything, I suppose everyone takes away what they want.

Most common though, at least in popular culture as I know it, is it’s association with transformation. Madame Butterfly, David Bowie, Papillon, Silence of the Lambs (okay, that was a moth) – these are off the top of my head and I’m sure there are more.

So why the butterfly, Jess? Are you bringing evil upon us or are you transforming into something? What’s the skinny, girl?

Anyone else have any thoughts?

10
Apr
09

Let the drama unfold

By now you may have discovered the sixth fragment and in doing so received a t-shirt. Go girl, go boy! But the door has not opened. If we’re right and all the fragments are needed to release the door, we still have more than a dozen more to find. Where are they going to come from? This strange arena seems to have given up all it’s going to, suggesting… new worlds? What awaits us?

Well, if you take my advice, don’t be hasty like our friend Ignatius. Let the drama unfold.

Why would I say this? Because the door in the hub reminds me of a monolith and if it’s true that everything has a purpose then its very design might be telling us something.

There are only two monoliths in popular culture that I know of.

Everyone knows about the big black slab in that classic Kubrick movie – but there’s a very different one in the story that inspired it.

So before you rush off to find the next zone, take a half-hour to read ‘The Sentinel’ by Arthur C. Clarke. And pay close attention to the last page. The overly curious amongst you might learn something.

09
Apr
09

Look back

Ignatius is so full of haste. And anger. I’d feel sorry for him but he’d be offended by my pity – he’s much more comfortable with the voodoo pins I’m sticking in his image right now, aren’t you, Ignatius?

Yes, those screams mean he’s enjoying the pain.

Now, bfs and gfs: can it be a coincidence that the fragments we’re filling in on the HoloPAD are creating something that has more than a passing resemblance to that door in the hub? This is drama, remember? In drama there’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s proof that I’m right!

There’s a guiding hand behind all this, and I’m sure it belongs to Jess. I mean, try this. Go to the HoloPAD and type in my date of birth (mmddyyyy) – the very day I was born. That’s got to be a sign that I’m on the right lines here.

What do you mean, you don’t know when I was born? You really haven’t been paying attention to this blog at all…

03
Apr
09

Blind to reason

This one goes out to the Englishman with an attitude problem…

I see through you. It’s true you know the way to our basest desires. You revel in it like a dog rolling in the dirt. But I know a trick or two as well and you, dawg, are simpler than you think.

You want to believe that Xi is ‘treasure’ because quite simply you are greedy. Greedy and blind to reason, chasing your precioussss!

How do I know this? Well, I was conceived to Betty Blue, weaned on afternoon melodrama and taught to shut up with the death of Bambi’s mom – I know a good drama when I see one. And you can’t get more dramatic than that big black monolith door in the hub. We’ve all seen it, we’ve all wondered about it and tried to open it I’m sure. That’s its purpose. It’s Bluebeard’s ghost, there to weave its tendrils around us.

Forget wild goose chases across the globe. In my opinion, our story will end when we find out where that door leads.

27
Mar
09

Bad luck coming

If you didn’t have a chance to delve into the code of Home (why would you?) and find the strange distorted image that 3lite dug up, I recreate it here for you. It’s been cleaned up some, but it’s still kind of rough.

salvaged_001

But it’s not what it shows that has me worried. It’s what it means for the future.

Now, you know I love new things. New = interesting = entertainment. But I suppose what we are talking about here is *the unknown*. Fear of change. Some people thrive on it – the pragmatists and the mad, if you ask me – but when it comes down to it, I’m far more comfortable with what I know: the comfort movie I’ve seen 30 times, the exact same chili recipe every time I see my family. The comfort of the familiar.

The unknown is scary because eventually luck always runs out.

I look at this picture of… who-knows-what? Is it a place? They tell me it’s mutating and while everyone else is popping veins trying to find it, I can’t help thinking that maybe we should hold back. Maybe our luck has finally run out.

05
Feb
09

Resolution

So you know those New Year’s resolutions you make and then a month later you realise you never did anything about them? Yeah. Welcome to February.
              
I haven’t quite started a virtual furniture store or fixed up any old chaises longues. I haven’t quite found my ideal project. And I haven’t quite managed to get away from work, which just keeps getting busier. There are so many new spaces in the pipeline that they’re taking on new testers. We don’t talk to them. These young pups never knew the pre-launch days, when men were men and so were their avatars…

And I’ve been neglecting this blog. Sorry. I’ve hardly had a second to myself lately and there simply haven’t been any major traumas in my life. Try not to be disappointed. Trauma is never far away, believe me, so be careful what you wish for.

08
Jan
09

Projects

Home is looking busy and beautiful, and it’s great (if weird) to see thousands of people dancing their way around the place now. They seem to like it. We’re still testing new spaces, and some are going to be wonderful, but the pace is starting to slow down for us now… I have time on my hands… I need a project.

It’s not that I don’t find my job fulfilling, but it’s always good to have something going on outside of work, something you can call your own. Everybody else has found something to get on with. Ignatius is building up his guild in a quest for world domination. Jess is working away on her own secret project (probably some new workflow software so she can boss us around more effectively). And here I am, wondering what to do with myself now that Home has launched and the big fanfare has faded.

Maybe I should start customizing furniture. Maybe sell a few pieces. Maybe virtual, maybe real. People always say they love my place and all the little touches, but this apartment is done now. I need to branch out. Any ideas?

25
Nov
08

Thanks, but no thanks

The holidays get kind of much for me, so I’m not too upset about working through Thanksgiving. There’s plenty to get on with, and some of the team want to do the family thing. Don’t get me wrong – I’ll drive down to my mom’s on Thursday night to say hi, but I’m not turning it into the four-day festival of food everyone else seems to want. 

One of the problems with this whole international telecommuting idea is what we all do when there’s a public holiday. Ignatius was like, “A *Thursday*? What kind of country has a holiday on a Thursday?” I get the feeling he’s still sore about the Declaration of Independence. 

I’m just thankful I won’t be getting bloated on turkey tortillas. This time of year always plays hell with my waistline.

05
Nov
08

Yes we can – if you can wait

I stayed up late, along with most of the nation. I get the feeling nobody will get much work done today.

“Can we do it?”

“Maybe later…”

23
Oct
08

Eau de humanity

Every so often, I like to try something new. Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a sucker for novelty. A good ad campaign or a glittering product shot and I’m there, drooling down the storefront before the doors open.

Normally this only applies to shiny electronics, but this time I found myself drawn in by a new cologne. I won’t endorse it here, but let’s just say that the manufacturer’s choice of photographic model may have been an influence on my purchase.

And normally, buying aftershave wouldn’t be cause for comment, but for this particular odor I will make an exception. It smelled fine going on and I smelled fine going out. But after about an hour, the guy sitting next to me asked if I could smell fish (and this was in a bar, not a dockyard). Once he mentioned it, fish was all I could smell. Everywhere I went, this acrid piscine stench followed me around. I like seafood but you can have too much of a good thing. When people say that the world is their oyster, they haven’t thought through the full implications.

Anyway, after a few hours of being a social pariah, I finally figured it out. I went home, took a shower, went to bed, and still needed another shower this morning to get rid of the last of the smell.

There’s a moral here somewhere, but every time I try and sum it up in words, it just comes out wrong.

15
Oct
08

I vont to drink your blaad

I’ve been dreaming about this First Drink for the past three weeks. A fun way of passing the long sober nights has been deciding what my First Drink was going to be. Something light, to ease me back into the saddle? Something rich, to remind me what I’ve been missing? Something harsh, to scorch my throat and remind me of why I’ve been taking a month off?

In the end, the decision was made for me on Friday night when I met up with Karel and some friends before a show and everyone else was enjoying wickedly strong cocktails. I ordered a club soda and watched them all laughing and a thought suddenly flashed into my mind: I so wanted a drink that I would gladly have sucked the blood-alcohol right out of them.

Don’t worry, I kept my incisors to myself and instead pledged that my first drink when I fell off the wagon would be a Bloody Mary. And so it is. Cheers.

07
Oct
08

Obsessed

Everybody has their obsessions, I understand that. My father used to spend whole weekends hitting a small white ball around a field with men in plaid pants. With other people, work is their obsession, and I get that too – those lucky schmucks who love their jobs and can’t get enough of the daily grind.

Right now, I’m working with a group of varied individuals who all have an interest in games. But some are, well, unhealthily interested.

It’s a measure of their obsession that, compared to these guys, I’m a model of restraint. Ignatius is an MMO addict. Jess works and plays and works and plays and can’t tell the difference. And 3lite won’t stop until he’s pwned every level and every opponent in every game he can find.

So while my friends tend to think of me as that stay-at-home (yet stylish) tech-head who messes around with computers all day, I’d just like to say that I am a well-adjusted 23-year-old with an active social life and a healthy attitude to digital entertainment.

In other words, I could be worse.

28
Sep
08

Wake up and smell the… what *is* this?

One of the gifts I should have mentioned on my birthday was a sumptuous, shiny espresso machine (thank you, Karel) in fire engine red with chrome fittings. It’s a fantastic piece of engineering, precision tooled, and amazing to look at too. Trouble is, it kind if draws attention to the absurdity of the whole process. I mean, forcing water through beans, then frothing up the reduced-fat lactate of a bovine I’ve never met, and topping it off with a dusting of a different type of beans-and-milk, all through this red, metallic hunk of hardware. Who the hell dreamt this up?

I guess the Chinese have had their tea ceremony for centuries. They drink weirder things in the rainforests. And don’t get me started on how bizarre smoking tobacco is. But I guess all of these things are ceremonies. Coffee is in our culture. I mean, imagine how much harder it would be to entice someone upstairs if you couldn’t invite them in for coffee.




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