23
Oct
08

Eau de humanity

Every so often, I like to try something new. Okay, I’ll admit it – I’m a sucker for novelty. A good ad campaign or a glittering product shot and I’m there, drooling down the storefront before the doors open.

Normally this only applies to shiny electronics, but this time I found myself drawn in by a new cologne. I won’t endorse it here, but let’s just say that the manufacturer’s choice of photographic model may have been an influence on my purchase.

And normally, buying aftershave wouldn’t be cause for comment, but for this particular odor I will make an exception. It smelled fine going on and I smelled fine going out. But after about an hour, the guy sitting next to me asked if I could smell fish (and this was in a bar, not a dockyard). Once he mentioned it, fish was all I could smell. Everywhere I went, this acrid piscine stench followed me around. I like seafood but you can have too much of a good thing. When people say that the world is their oyster, they haven’t thought through the full implications.

Anyway, after a few hours of being a social pariah, I finally figured it out. I went home, took a shower, went to bed, and still needed another shower this morning to get rid of the last of the smell.

There’s a moral here somewhere, but every time I try and sum it up in words, it just comes out wrong.

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