Archive for April, 2009

27
Apr
09

The country mouse

I hate liars but the world is so full of them we can’t get away – or maybe I’m a liar magnet, I don’t know.

My grandmother used to say, ‘Donde hay calor har serpientes,’ ‘Where there is heat, there are snakes.’ This terrified me as a boy growing up in San Diego – when wasn’t it hot?! But now I’ve come to the City of Angels, I understand what she really meant. Where there is more to win there will always be more snakes.

I, like many others, Greyhounded here, a dungareed hick with straw in my gapped teeth, looking politely for my shot at immortality. My personal dream? To unite the world with my Oscar™ winning speech after directing The Versace Story. Now I go to class, I wait tables, I test – so it goes. One of 10 million dreamers. So will I succeed? I’m hot, I’m loud but… here be snakes.

And here in the virtual world, the competition is just as fearsome. Will it be little me, with my out-of-town morality, or will one of 10 million others be prepared to lie and cheat their way into hearts and minds and through closed doors, thinking nothing of pushing friends and morals aside to achieve glory?

Maybe I’m trying to deny the truth – but the world deserves to hear my acceptance speech.

So, good people, a word of warning to you. Many are now looking for Xi and the stakes are getting higher. I can feel the heat. So check your shoes, because I think the snakes are already among us.

20
Apr
09

The inner-beautiful people

What wonderful people every last primped and preened one of you are. The Hub has never seen anything quite like it – Friday in particular was utter mayhem with impromptu parties galore as thousands of you cast off your shackles to reveal your inner loveliness.

I can’t pick out any favourites since there were so many totally awesome make overs – but you know what, I’m going to anyway:

‘|Achilleas|’ – scary

‘Ognamus’ – reclaiming Texas for real men

‘jawa_juice’ – a real exhibitionist

Godsgift1888′ – how brave you were to show us your nurse’s outfit

You were all so brave and deserve a big hug from Miguel! If only the big wide world could be so honest. More than anything, you’ve all shown me and the whole of Home what fun can be had with a few party tricks.

Thank you everyone

Miguel xxx

17
Apr
09

Strip yourself bare!

Inspired by recent developments, it is my pleasure to announce:

THE FIRST EVER AVATAR INNER BEAUTY CONTEST

A distractivity

presented by

CAFÉ CON MIGUEL

Yes people, that’s right. Everyone is talking about avatar enhancement and the time could not be better for the first ever avatar inner beauty contest.

To take part, all you have to do is throw off your shackles and explore your inner self.

HOW TO UNLEASH THE TRUE YOU:
o Change the look of your avatar
o Go to the Hub.
o Rate other contestants’ inner beauty using the new function on your HoloPAD (thanks Thom).
o Be rated yourself.

That’s right! Cast off your armor and show your real self to the world!

A function on the HoloPAD will allow others to rate the new you as you can rate the new them.

Remember, I’m not looking for the clichéd buxom blue-eyed blonde or the square-jawed hunk. I might as well watch a re-run of Baywatch.

Look deep inside yourself and see how you would really like to be. Are you a mild mannered bank manager with a leather fixation? Or is the gingham look more your thing? Would you like to explore, dare I say it, another gender?

Be your inner self! Because in the end *that is your true self*.

16
Apr
09

Six degrees

Could Xi give you the ability to become a ‘super-being’ inside Home? You heard it here first! Everyone is talking about ‘avatar enhancement’ and it certainly fits in with the whole butterfly metaphor.

All avatars are enhancements in a way. Here are the six types yours truly has identified:

1 – Straight Avatar
2 – Augmented Avatar
3 – Depraved Avatar
4 – Experimental Avatar
5 – Androgenous Avatar
6 – Uber Avatar

1
Straight Avatar speaks for itself, the avatar closely resembles ourselves and this is probably the avatar most of us have.

2
Possibly though many of us have augmented our Avatars, even just a little bit to satisfy our egos – bigger breasts or pecs, you might not even know you’re doing it. There’s no shame!

3
An intriguing one this, some people like to pervert their avatar into something ugly, either a perverted vision of themselves or something completely off the wall. And why not? Expression has many forms and while psychological implications lurk herein, it’s true, where don’t they lurk? Applaud it!

4
Experimenting with your gender is something well documented in the real world already. Not an easy thing to do, though obviously it’s easier in the virtual world; but it still takes cajones to be so truthful.

Hopefully you’ll see each of these requires increasing complexity of thought. It’s easy to want bigger pecs but there is probably far more behind wanting to change gender, be it psychology, philosophy, or history. It’s a much more sophisticated way of thinking, which leads us to…

5
Ah, what if there were no gender? No sk8erbois or gangstas or cheerleaders or teenie wahinis… life would be soooo much easier but far less fun! It’s been a few years since Mr Iron’s biology class, but as I recall we are male and female simply so we can reproduce. But gender isn’t important in a virtual world – it’s a throwback to a previous self, as the coccyx is a memory of where we evolved from. We cling to it people, because it is what we know, it is all we know. In a virtual world though an androgynous avatar would have all the best features of both – a man’s strength, a woman’s compassion, a man’s instinct to protect, a woman’s emotional intelligence. It would be neither, it would be greater. Currently we can’t pick and choose but that would be the final stage of avatar development.

6
Suppose you could find a way of actually circumventing the boundaries that have been created for our avatars, then you could enhance yourself above and beyond all others. You could increase functionality across the board and it is no exaggeration to say you would become a pseudo god. As Tom Waits said, ‘In the world of the blind, the one-eyed man is King.’

So what are you? What would you like to be?

14
Apr
09

transformation

In Mexico, we have the Day of the Dead. My grandmother says on that day – it’s in November – dead ancestors come to visit us, brought on the wings of butterflies. When they leave they take the souls of the newly departed away with them.

Butterflies have been on my mind lately. This is from Wikipedia: “The Taoist philosopher Zhuangzi once had a dream of being a butterfly flying without care about humanity, however when he woke up and realized it was just a dream, he thought to himself, ‘Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?’”

I like that. Butterflies seem to be symbolic of many things, depending on where and when you’re from – a person’s soul, a portent of evil or conversely good luck, a symbol of love or loved ones coming to visit. Like anything, I suppose everyone takes away what they want.

Most common though, at least in popular culture as I know it, is it’s association with transformation. Madame Butterfly, David Bowie, Papillon, Silence of the Lambs (okay, that was a moth) – these are off the top of my head and I’m sure there are more.

So why the butterfly, Jess? Are you bringing evil upon us or are you transforming into something? What’s the skinny, girl?

Anyone else have any thoughts?

10
Apr
09

Let the drama unfold

By now you may have discovered the sixth fragment and in doing so received a t-shirt. Go girl, go boy! But the door has not opened. If we’re right and all the fragments are needed to release the door, we still have more than a dozen more to find. Where are they going to come from? This strange arena seems to have given up all it’s going to, suggesting… new worlds? What awaits us?

Well, if you take my advice, don’t be hasty like our friend Ignatius. Let the drama unfold.

Why would I say this? Because the door in the hub reminds me of a monolith and if it’s true that everything has a purpose then its very design might be telling us something.

There are only two monoliths in popular culture that I know of.

Everyone knows about the big black slab in that classic Kubrick movie – but there’s a very different one in the story that inspired it.

So before you rush off to find the next zone, take a half-hour to read ‘The Sentinel’ by Arthur C. Clarke. And pay close attention to the last page. The overly curious amongst you might learn something.

09
Apr
09

Look back

Ignatius is so full of haste. And anger. I’d feel sorry for him but he’d be offended by my pity – he’s much more comfortable with the voodoo pins I’m sticking in his image right now, aren’t you, Ignatius?

Yes, those screams mean he’s enjoying the pain.

Now, bfs and gfs: can it be a coincidence that the fragments we’re filling in on the HoloPAD are creating something that has more than a passing resemblance to that door in the hub? This is drama, remember? In drama there’s no such thing as coincidence. It’s proof that I’m right!

There’s a guiding hand behind all this, and I’m sure it belongs to Jess. I mean, try this. Go to the HoloPAD and type in my date of birth (mmddyyyy) – the very day I was born. That’s got to be a sign that I’m on the right lines here.

What do you mean, you don’t know when I was born? You really haven’t been paying attention to this blog at all…